how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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