??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
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