I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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