If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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