dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
