ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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