I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
