It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
