as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
