there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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