You're completely useless in the revolution.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
