Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
