Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
