Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
