just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
