The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
