yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
