hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
