You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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