so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
