I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
