fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
