Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize