I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
