I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
