I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
