It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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