I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
