your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so explain again why im purple
no
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I cannot find my penis.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Randomize