It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
