remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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