So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize