In the future we'll all be gay
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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