I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
