No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
