come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
