Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Randomize
