So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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