Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
