I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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