Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
