He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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