I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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