Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
