Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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