Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
