I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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