she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
