i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the day after is always just damage control
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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