Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
