don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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