RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
