my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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