Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize