Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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