when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
organizing the empties. That sober.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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