I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
