problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize
