oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
